Captain Gengen showed me how to use a sword today.

Journey v2.0

2009-04-28T10:18:09Z

Life is a journey, and we all share in the search for meaning. As we grow into adulthood, we become more conscious of the challenges we face. Uncertainty is one such challenge, a challenge I have found to grow in magnitude (and perhaps out of proportion) as my life comes to a head.

Two years ago I entered the diversity visa program for the right to work in the United States. Fresh out of university, I thoroughly believed in the concept of passion as an all consuming force – and I was passionate about video games. The US was the place for video game development in the English-speaking world, therefore it was a no-brainer to enter, and besides, winning it wasn’t a real possibility. Shortly after entering, I left home to pursue my first job in the industry in Australia, leaving behind a network of family and friends who inspired me with a real sense of wellbeing. Relying instead on my new workplace to provide me the same esteem, it was no surprise I walked away disappointed and my belief in "passion" damaged.

Within the week I arrived back home, I received a letter from the Kentucky Consulate, congratulating me on my success in winning the lottery, and with a promise of more details to come. After a bit of research and a taste of anticipation, I soon forget about it and continued on with school. Fast forward to present day, here I stand at complete awe of the past month. In it, my father has burdened himself with $47 thousand dollars of debt taken out against the house, in order to ensure my placement and security. My Dad, the man who has spent his life hovering on the poverty line, the man who has only ever looked out for others at the cost of his own wellbeing, has taken out a mortgage for a program I’m not even sure I want to be a part of. I have ignored the impact of this completely selfless gesture just as I have ignored the questions of my path ahead.

My sense of uncertainty has never felt stronger, where the questions about who I am, what I want, and why I’m here are not as easily silenced with my usual live-and-let-live ethos. Is the risk of going to America worth it, when I don’t even know where I want to move to? Does the industry I was once was enamoured by still hold something in store for me? Is it worth it leaving a very loving circle of people that provide me a sense of belonging, to move to a place where I will not be able to call upon others? If an opportunity does exist, does it exist in the same way I envisage, or is happiness and balance going to be difficult (or impossible) to find?

I guess the crux of this all is – "Why am I doing this?"

Has anyone else have experience of this in their journey? What are your thoughts, what should I do?

Wing, Water, Heart!

2007-05-17T11:07:32Z

Behold - Wing! I fucking love Wing. Having just come back from her concert on campus (and only managing to stay for half, boo!) all I can say that this woman is a pure good. She epitomises all that is grand and consistently delivered a heartwarming and passionate performance.

Having gained popularity across the Tasman with appearances on programs such as Sports Cafe and Rove Live, she only recently rose to international fame with her star role on South Park, where creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker described her as "a really sweet joke, or a really sweet not joke". And that she is; super sweet and cute.

Take for example the blurb from her website WingMusic.co.nz:

"Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along.

I released my first CD Phantom Of The Opera and got a grant from the Manukau City Council for promotion. Then I released I Could Have Danced All Night and The Sound Of Music.

My latest CDs are called "Breathe" "Wing Sings Elvis", "Wing Sings AC/DC", "Dancing Queen by Wing", and "Beatles Classics by Wing".

I have worked hard and I hope you have all found I am improving.

Thank you for all who supports me helping me very much as I go along.
Thank you!" ~ Wing.

To get a better taste of what she's like, take a look at one of her performances on Massey Campus earlier this year here.

During her performance she waved to students, bowed when the audience burst into accolades, and clapped and smiled along with everyone! When she sung, she sometimes fell out of time and only realised this about half a minute later when her voice didn't match up with the music. She then shrunk into her shoulders and sung really quietly - SO GOD DAMN KAWAII (or xiao in this instance).

It is not that I love Wing's music, but what Wing represents - boundless effort and endless humility in the face of acerbic and often sarcastic critisism. This too is what makes people love her far beyond any "gimmick" factor, as evident by the people cheering her on time, and time, and time again.

UPDATE - WING CONTACTS RABID FAN: ME
Check comments.

OH SHI-

2005-12-05T09:19:12Z

ATTN: JOURNAL IS NOW FRIENDS-ONLY

THE PARANOIA IS OVERWHELMING

CRAWLING, SKIN, WOUNDS, HEAL ETC

LOVE,
TERRY

(Comment below for sugoi secret entry fun time!)

Hey guys...

2005-08-25T19:36:24Z

I'm an internet cliche. I have an LJ.

aka: this is a test message.